I have no idea why I had to learn all the state capitals.
My father and I went to Chipotle today . He parked the car, handed me money and said, “Get me a pork burrito.”
“Oh, I thought you were going in,” I said.
“No, just get me a pork burrito.”
“You want the meal?” I asked.
“No, but get it with the spicy sauce,” he said.
“So no guacamole. No meal, but you want the mild sauce.”
“No, spicy sauce.”
“Right, no spicy sauce, got it. You want the burrito or the salad?”
“Wait, yes, spicy sauce, and the wrapped up burrito.”
“The meal? I don’t understand,” I said, concentrating hard with an expression like I was just told that 2+2 equals a sack of potatoes.
Then he grabbed the money, slammed the door behind him and went in himself. I fought back a smile.
My brother has a red ax in a case over his bed that says, “IN CASE OF ZOMBIES, BREAK GLASS.”