I was reading reviews online of an anesthesiologist Ellen used to work for. I read some of them out loud. Ellen said, “What do you want? It’s the fucking anesthesiologist. If you wake up and you’re not dead, he’s great!”
At Whole Foods, Ellen and I sat next to a group of middle aged women who were incredibly excited about their new mutual find: knit jeans. One of them described them “feeling like pajamas!” Another said, “I saw them on sale at Marshalls!” Then the women all gave each other high-fives and agreed to go together. If I ever high-five over mom jeans, kill me. Just kill me.