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Posts Tagged ‘jeremy’

I remember sneaking up to the attic when my parents slept with their door closed. I’d pull the bed out that the couch turned into and would flop, flipping from side to side, a king in his luxurious court, presiding over all of himself.

And then there was the time Philip came in and my flopping stopped. I’d been caught. Even the squirrels who would rustle back and forth on the roof throughout the night, they stopped too. He looked at me and said he was going out, that he wanted someone to know, just in case, he said. And I said to come home soon or Who cares what you do? I don’t remember which.

And I heard him creak down the stairs on all the ones I knew to avoid and felt the summer night creep in through the window as I heard his footsteps outside.

I was barely awake when he came back an hour later, smelling of lake water and the fullness of a lived summer night.

He came to say goodnight, but this time the crickets were louder than his steps. He sat next to me on the bed, dipping me toward his warm wet weight as the mattress creaked.

“I’ll have to show you stars sometime,” he said to me.

Here’s the thing though: I’ve always been much more cautious.

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I told Jeremy I was going to set up an appointment for us to get colonics. I was looking at the website and I said, “Oh look!  We can get three colonics for $250!” He said, “Who’ll be our third person?”

“No,” I said. “We’ll each get three.”

He said, “I don’t want to pay 250 dollars for a fuckin’ triple shot of colonics.”

——-

In the first act of Shakespeare’s All’s Well that Ends Well, Parolles finds the fair Helena thoughtful, and asks, “Are you meditating on virginity?”

I think I’ve asked about four people that this past week. It works out really well.

——-

There were two loaves of bread in the employee room today at work. I asked if I could eat them, if they belonged the somebody. The girl at the desk said that I should go right ahead, that she has a third one at home.

“Why do you have three loaves of bread?” I asked.

She said, “Crush on the guy at the bakery. I’ve been going every morning. There’ll probably be another one tomorrow, if you’d like.”

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i woke up early this morning and had some of the left over couscous for breakfast. the lawn mowers had started earlier than usual in the courtyard, which i suppose is a valid punishment for those, like me, with mondays off.

we still had orange juice and that’s big.

i read a few articles of last weeks economist and folded a few things.

when my jeremy finally got up around one, he went straight for the orange juice.

i said, “so you want the good news or the bad news first?”

“let’s get it over with,” he said.

“okay so maybe i lied. no bad news today.”

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Jeremy, Ellen and I recently had a conversation about super powers. I brought up what they would do with the super power of making anyone in the room with them have an orgasm of whatever intensity and length you desired.

Jeremy said he would use it to rob banks, just make everyone black out on the floor with pleasure as he took all the money. …either that, or for sports, he said. He’d get the ball in football and just make any potential tackler have a quick surprise in their pants. I told him he needed to make sure he did it fast enough, before they made any contact.

Ellen said that she would use it just to laugh. If she were having a bad day at a red light, the guy crossing the street would just start to enjoy himself a little too much right in front of everyone.

I said that after I talked to anyone, I would give them just a mini, tiny, almost imperceptible party in his or her pants as they walked away, like a nice wine that surprises you later.

We decided that it all showed a lot about our personalities.

Jeremy would use his power to make his own life a lot better.

——-

Ellen would use her power to make her life a little funnier.

——-

And I would use mine to make everyone’s life just a teeny tad better.

So here’s the question… What would you do?

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My roommate doesn’t have a bed yet. It’s been almost three weeks and he sleeps on the floor.

But he did spend at least two days setting up this beauty.

My favorite detail?  Besides… you know… the books…

The box of bourbon’s finest.

Second favorite detail…

Yes, my friends, that IS a Darwin monkey book end helping Joyce’s Ulysses to find its footing.

This is what I wake up to every morning. Sure, I could buy an actual bookshelf. Or I could spend that money on a book of Ryokan’s poetry. I mean c’mon, which would you chose?

And residing over it all, the chairman of the Spaß. One must give reverence.

So what is the Spaß?

In short, it’s our new apartment.

Jeremy came up with the idea that he wanted to name our apartment after a guerilla movement. I thought it a fine idea and started some research.

Spaßguerilla, which apparently means “fun guerilla” was “a grouping within the student protest movement of the 1960s in Germany that agitated for social change, in particular for a more libertarian, less authoritarian, and less materialistic society, using tactics characterized by disrespectful humour and provocative and disruptive actions of a minimally violent nature.”

It is pronounced “Spassguerilla” and if we were to shorten that, we could called it “the spaß” or “the spass” which almost sounds like “the space” and looks like “the spa” but also means “the fun.”

The word “Spassguerilla” itself is interesting. Though the normal German spelling is Spaßguerilla, it was spelled Spassguerilla by Fritz Teufel and this therefore became known as the “teuflische Schreibweise” (a pun meaning either “Teufelian” spelling or “diabolical spelling”; Teufel in German means devil). This spelling is retained by some, including academics (see references). The use of “ss” rather than “ß” implies a short “a” sound, making the word more like Stadtguerilla (urban guerrilla), a term used by Rudi Dutschke.”

So we live in a subversive German potentially demonic urban space spa of fun.

The name stuck real fast.

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yoga yoga yoga.

For those of you whom I have yet to meet, my non-cyber life is supported by teaching yoga (among a few other odds and ends). This past weekend, I found myself surrounded by lights, cameras and half-built sets in a huge loft space in Chicago’s downtown with my dear friend and photographer extraordinaire, Jane, who collaborated with me on some promotional photos for my up-and-coming site.

I thought I’d share a few of these.

For this last shot, I asked her what stage of enlightenment it looked like I was in. She said that as I was having her take pictures of me meditating, probably not that high…

I liked my little brick corner.  I hope you do, too.

Thank you to Ms. Jane Jennings Gaspar. Check out her blog here, and her site here.

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Please excuse my absence. I had to partake in a rescue mission to Ohio. There has to be some adage about not going to Ohio from California… or about not going to Ohio in August, and if so, this fine gent hadn’t learned it yet.

He is now safe again in the warm embrace of a late Chicago summer.

And just to round out the number to four of big fat midwestern states we visited in a day, we stopped in Michigan for a quick glimpse of the lake from the other side and a surprisingly bad dinner. 

But then again, we ate to this at our side…

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i drove a toyota corolla that isn’t mine into the texas state capital and before thirty hours were up I managed to slip in four films with my future roommate, combine that with a shot of guy talk and suddenly you know exactly how a well put together mise-en-scene can make 103 degrees outside seem like an early autumn.

lists should always be questioned yet scanning the top lines of one-through-tens is often our most efficient way of becoming conversational masters on a given subject without doing the back-work.

that being said, rent a couple of these, and just make sure your air conditioner is up for a challenge.  

i can guarantee this is back-work you won’t regret.

à boute de souffle (1960) - jean seberg 

if the stripped shirts don’t get you, that smile will.  if you ever wondered why the rates of high school female french students with pixie cuts is higher than their spanish counter parts, don’t necessarily look to amélie.  if starting a film movement, 1960s paris, a live-free-die-young mentality, and a bogie reference to melt hearts isn’t enough to get you watching, i’ll tell you this: at the end of the film, you’ll know why “new york harold tribune” could be a wet dream. (tps)

2046 (2004) - faye wong

i first remember faye wong in chungking express leaning over a counter and whispering “chicken salad.” she had me right there.  wong kar wai is in the very good habit of bolstering his already sumptuous images with actors who somehow manage to still be the focus of our attention.  wong takes on a number of roles in wai’s hk tribute- the dream android, the coy mistress, the unrequited lover- but all of that seem accessory to her precise touch and her perfect form.  the film tends to open around her, leaving enough rope for most actors to hang by, but finding wong unperturbed; she steps with a daring confidence through each vignette, serving as the welcome catalyst to a film never about her, but always reliant. (tvs)

how to steal a million (1966) – audrey hepburn

if her father in the film traffics replicas of art and beauty, he definitely created one statuette that will be good for the ages.  the lace clad legs, in my book, could get away with far more than just larceny. hepburn, though always worthy of admiration, adds in a sultry touch not necessarily worthy of an oscar nod, but definitely some toe curling. (tps)

une femme est une femme (1961) – anna karina

somehow godard’s most playful, uninhibited, and well-executed work is now relegated to the back-burner of this prodigious legacy.  but nowhere in the jlg canon can you find so perfect a symbiosis between the new wave star and his chosen muse.  karina’s performances go straight to the heart of what 1960s france has to offer a viewer- whether  running through the louvre or upholding the subversive element, giving androids a better name or singing the strip tease, karina is an exuberant and vivacious screen presence, addictive even to her most subtle pout.  she’s is on top of her game in femme, between her sailor suit, burnt roast, and book amalgams you’ll have a hard time making your first viewing your only one.  (tvs)

manon des sources (1986) – emmanuelle béart

as much as the 200 year old farm house and always nutritious mediterranean sun draws me back to the south of france, if this film were all i knew of my beloved country, i’d perhaps love it just as much. there must be something about french vowels that can make mouths shaped just so.  you gotta give it to any woman who can make a sequel more memorable than its first starring the french film god.  granted, this film came out in 1986 and should be every farm aide’s fantasy, just hopefully not taken to the extreme taken in the film (fabric should not be used that way), and even after 20 + years, the woman has shown some staying power.  still a french vogue cover girl (which often means a lot more skin than its tame american counter part), check out what an h&m ad looks like in france. (tps)

leri, oggi, domani (1963) – sophia loren

if you’re ever feeling fortunate, stop.  recollect the year 1963, remember than in it the insufferable marcello mastroaini scored not once, but twice on this list.  shortly after his stint tooling round with the lovely ms cardianale shotgun in his roadster marcello hopped the train to meet up with de sica and dive in to his next assignment: barking in bed while sophia loren gave him a tour of the room.  loren masters each sequence of the film (yesterday, today, and tomorrow for us inglesi) delivering with verve as the sympathetic call girl, the flighty superstar, and (especially!) and indomitable populist matron.  she throws herself into each sequence with a contagious abandon that leaves you at turns stunned, breathless. (tvs)

blow (2001) penelope cruz

hunter s. thompson, another face if jd, once said, “i hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”  thompson had it all, including the tragic ending, as did george jung in blow, with one added benefit… take a torrid affair between two of the darkest and smokiest out there and add in a few flash cuts of whips, cuffs and chains, and suddenly tragic endings seem oh so utterly worth it. (tps)

8 1/2 (1963) – claudia cardinale

the only time i believed a director when he told me he was in love came somewhere around the 19-second mark of this trailer when felini brings us claudia, the ostensible missing link in guido anselmi’s doomed production: the vestal white, the perfect smile, the evident restraint of guido’s reaction gives clear signal that our boy is done.  but cardinale would have that effect on about 60% of the human population.  her role is small, making a total of four appearances, but when she’s onscreen you remember every crevice, hoping in some way that a more detailed topography of the image will keep her there a second longer.  cardinale, in a few photogenic minutes, steals the movie right from under felini’s nose, and to his endless credit, the maestro doesn’t seem to mind one bit. (tvs)

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writing hasn’t been happening much lately which has a direct correlation with my state of unrest.  summer is coming and i’m leaving paris soon right at the moment when i gave my first completely unselfish hug.  i watched a lecture today about living forever and the developing the technology to do it.  and people asked, “wouldn’t it be boring?” and out of all the things life is, i don’t know that i will ever again find it boring.  arthur, the nine-year-old, says often the same thing in the morning when I tell him he can’t play the computer before school.  he says, “but it’s so boring here.” and i don’t get it, with the books on the shelves, the light coming in through the windows, my own two feet on the ground, bones, muscles, standing up, lying down, sitting and waiting and watching.  yet for me, living forever, or at least, for another hundred years requires a garden.  and odd to me still how things grow.  i don’t grow with sunshine and water and i don’t know why.  

it’s a few days into spring and i feel like summer is coming soon.  and that’s a big deal.  

kate used to talk about legitimacy.  ”i want to achieve legitimacy,” she’d say.  or maybe she never really said it that way.  and i once thought that the only way to obtain that was through world travel and a constant melancholy and thought that somehow, happiness was a lesser emotion.  i had hemingway’s “happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing i know,” in my head.  

and now, no.  happiness is happiness, and it feels good.  it’s worth chasing.  it’s worth forgetting things over.  it’s worth letting rest anxieties and fears to let happen.  and melancholy, too, is worth those moments of reflection, looking out at how it all is, and thinking that either it is here to stay, or that you are quickly losing it.

i just know for now, i am leaving Paris.  i am disquieted and comforted.  there will be more projects and more stories, so many more stories to come.

i have an assignment to sleep under a texas sky.  i have an assignment to start a lemonade stand outside a chicago subway.  i have an assignment to jump into a murky pond near the abraham lincoln memorial museum in southern illinois.  i have an assignment to hike through southern colorado to a place that makes more sense to both of us, wherever that is.  and new york, the upper east side to brooklyn, and chocolate, and long white white hair with big eyes.  i have an assignment to grow some eggplant, to sundry some tomatoes.  

jeremy said today that we’ll pitch a tent in our new living room.

and i’m going to love hard and breathe and eat lots and lots of bitter greens,

 

nice hearty ones, the greens i mean.

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Tonight, dinner is a stolen frozen pizza from the corner store.  Jeremy brings it home after work and leaves it on living room floor.  He slips off his jacket, the one missing a zipper, and leaves it crumpled in the corner.  He retreats into the kitchen and opens the tea cabinet.  The door falls off.

“Careful with the cabinet,” I say from the bathtub, “it’s been tricky.”

“Nice trick,” he says.

“Gets me every time.” 

I unplug the drain and, careful not to slip on the bare floor, wrap our towel around my waist.  We threw our other towel away because it started growing things, along with the shower curtain, and most of Jeremy’s winter clothes.  At first, I thought this one was wet from Jeremy’s morning shower until my nose told me that it was something else.  I shout to the kitchen, “Spraying the towel with cologne doesn’t kill the mold.”

“It’s got a high alcohol content?” 

His cologne came in a 16-oz plastic bottle.  He uses it as his miracle product; all-purpose cleaner, face wash, body moisturizer, mouthwash…etc.  I understand toilet bowel cleaner, sure, but his toothbrush wafting the scent in the morning, no.

I drip into the living room and read the instructions for a conventional oven.  “Will you preheat the oven to 350?”

“I don’t think it does that trick.”  They had turned our gas off weeks ago. 

He comes in with a sharpie, picks up the box, writes something, and places it back down.

Cooking Instructions:  LET DEFROST ON LIVING ROOM FLOOR.  THEN EAT.

I hang the towel, spray it with cologne. 

I sit cross-legged in the living room.  We say it is fung shui’d, that we are minimalists; Last year, to make rent, we sold our furniture to the new Chinese couple downstairs for $50 and a home cooked meal. 

Our furniture is now the pizza box and a zipperless coat lit by an exposed bulb that blinds.  We had a fixture on it, but it was too heavy and pulled the bulb out of the ceiling.  Now it hangs low.  On nights of too much wine, we use it to star gaze. 

“Pay day,” he sits beside me and waves his check.  “They take too much of my money.”

“…for schools and education,” I say.

“No, for smart bombs and predator drones.”

“I’ve never pegged you as a pessimist.”

“I’m not; I’m an optimist starting at a low base camp.  I’m just saying, if they are going to take my money, use it toward something… like NASA.”

“You serious?”

“I read today,” he pulls a rolled newspaper from his jacket pocket, “that NASA’s Voyager just crossed the termination shock.”

“That’s optimistic?”

“’The termination shock,’ apparently,” he begins reading, “‘is the point in the heliosphere where the solar wind slows down to subsonic speed causing compression, heating, but most importantly,’ and listen here, ‘a change in the magnetic field.  The termination shock is the boundary of the sun’s magnetic pull.’  Said differently, Voyager is the first human-made craft to leave our solar-system.”

“You are happy that a piece of metal is far away?”

“‘In case it’s encountered by extra-terrestrials,’” he continues, “’Voyager is carrying photos of life on Earth, greetings in 55 different languages and a collection of music ranging from Gregorian chant to Chuck Berry.  Included was Slow Were My Feet by Cripple Nellie Thompson, a bluester from the 20s.’”

I am watching the pizza defrost.

“Listen to this,” he tells me, “just listen. ‘Cripple Nellie Thompson lost the use of his legs at age seven when his stepfather beat him after finding his mother with another man.  He died, penniless, after surviving his house burning down.  He was unable to move without his wheel chair; He starved to death in the ruins –’”

“Optimism?”

“—But,” he says, “his music just left the solar system.”

He falls back to, gazing up at our star shine.  It seems to hang even lower than last night.  I watch his pupils contract.  I shift positions and notice my foot is asleep. 

“Pizza ready yet?”

 

  

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