America in Short

I told Jeremy I was going to set up an appointment for us to get colonics. I was looking at the website and I said, “Oh look!  We can get three colonics for $250!” He said, “Who’ll be our third person?”

“No,” I said. “We’ll each get three.”

He said, “I don’t want to pay 250 dollars for a fuckin’ triple shot of colonics.”

——-

In the first act of Shakespeare’s All’s Well that Ends Well, Parolles finds the fair Helena thoughtful, and asks, “Are you meditating on virginity?”

I think I’ve asked about four people that this past week. It works out really well.

——-

There were two loaves of bread in the employee room today at work. I asked if I could eat them, if they belonged the somebody. The girl at the desk said that I should go right ahead, that she has a third one at home.

“Why do you have three loaves of bread?” I asked.

She said, “Crush on the guy at the bakery. I’ve been going every morning. There’ll probably be another one tomorrow, if you’d like.”

Read Full Post »