Therein lies the rub. Therein lies the rub. Therein lies the rub. Why has everyone agreed to this misquote? Aye, there’s the rub. ——- This will change your life: Stove-top popcorn. Popcorn. 1/4 nutritional yeast sea salt to taste agave to taste butter (optional) Penzey’s Brady Street Cheese Sprinkle. Trust me. ——- Last week, my [...]
Archive for the ‘Triple Shots’ Category
Triple Shot.
Posted in Triple Shots on April 26, 2012 | 2 Comments »
Triple Shot.
Posted in Triple Shots on January 12, 2012 | 3 Comments »
At the bakery in the market, the woman behind the counter always calls me “scrumple.” Like, “Whaddya need today scrumple?” “Try this this sample you scrumple you.” Not only is it weird, but it sounds like a baked good, and I just don’t like the insinuation that I have the same name as the things [...]
Triple Shot.
Posted in Triple Shots on October 13, 2011 | 2 Comments »
Sometimes, my life feels like just one long episode of Moesha. —– A friend of mine in northern Canada sent me a picture of herself and her two huskies in layers and layers of clothes in a snow covered field holding up a sign that said “Occupy the Tundra.” —– One of the better feelings [...]
Triple Shot.
Posted in Triple Shots, tagged april, chairman meow, office on October 6, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
April : What is Zumba? I keep hearing about it and seeing ads… Me : We walked past a class in session this weekend. Looked like step aerobics without the steps. April : Oh… So dancing around like a moron. I think they offer that at my gym. I think they offer that at every [...]
Triple Shot. (Mr. Glenfrankus edition)
Posted in Triple Shots, tagged glenfrankus, triple shot on March 10, 2010 | 2 Comments »
Mr. Glenfrankus’ favorite color is eggplant. ——- Mr. Glenfrankus has a pet fish named lizard. He is allergic to reptiles. ——- Mr. Glenfrankus has the talent of having no difficulty reading while walking, even up and down stairs.
Triple Shot.
Posted in Triple Shots, tagged brother, Canada, chicago, ellen on January 13, 2010 | 2 Comments »
Canada’s history magazine is called “The Beaver.” I would hate to do google image searches for past articles. ——- My brother sent me an e-mail that he was checking out at the grocery store and the clerk saw his ID and said, “Oh, are you related to Tim Sullivan!?” My brother said yes, that we [...]
Triple Shot.
Posted in Triple Shots, tagged anestesiologist, ellen, pie, whole foods on January 6, 2010 | 3 Comments »
I was reading reviews online of an anesthesiologist Ellen used to work for. I read some of them out loud. Ellen said, “What do you want? It’s the fucking anesthesiologist. If you wake up and you’re not dead, he’s great!” ——- At Whole Foods, Ellen and I sat next to a group of middle aged [...]
Triple Shot.
Posted in Triple Shots, tagged bears, chicago, ellen, football, grocery, night, orange juice, taco bell on October 21, 2009 | 2 Comments »
I bought the fancy orange juice at the grocery store today, the one in the glass bottle that isn’t from concentrate. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to get my oj fix. Groggy, I reached into the fridge, reached for the glass bottle, and instead chugged down eight ounces of [...]
Triple Shot.
Posted in Triple Shots, tagged army, brimstone, church, fire, joke, kids, laugh, scooter, service, vitamins on October 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I just got a new scooter. Someone at worked asked me if I could stand it up without a kick stand. I said no, because it’s two-tired. GET IT!?!?!? TOO-TIRED… TWO TIRED! The thing is, it doesn’t work if you say it outloud. I still laughed though. ——- I found this ad for vitamins for [...]
Triple Shot.
Posted in Triple Shots, tagged bakery, bread, colonics, desk, jeremy, meditation, virginity, work on September 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I told Jeremy I was going to set up an appointment for us to get colonics. I was looking at the website and I said, “Oh look! We can get three colonics for $250!” He said, “Who’ll be our third person?” “No,” I said. “We’ll each get three.” He said, “I don’t want to pay [...]
