Someone gave me a ride home from work last week so I didn’t have to bike home in the rain. I said, “Thanks, but like really, thank you.” Then I spent the rest of the night fantasizing about me getting rich and famous and paying him back 100 fold.
Have you ever had a dream where you get fired from your job and after you wake up, realize it was a dream, and get really disappointed?
I was at a barbeque last week and flies started to land on the food when we were all done. Someone said, “Must be a tribute to good cooking.” Then I saw the fly land on the pile of shit the dog just dropped.