My roommate told me that he’d give me up before he’d give up cigarettes and he doesn’t even smoke.
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I used to buy swedish fish for a penny each at the corner pharmacy. I’d just reach in and grab out a few, toss some pennys on the counter and be on my way. They were always stale. I am thoroughly against “good ol’ days” ruminations, but if I weren’t, I’d bring this story up far more often.
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I had a music teacher in Paris who when I walked in the first day he said to me, “What’s your name and what are we working on?” I explained that I was a new student, Tim, and I had no assignments yet. He said, “Great!” and got me started on choral analysis of Bach chorals. The next week, I came in, same questions, “What’s your name and what are we working on?” Bach chorals. The week after, “What’s your name and what are we working on?” And then each week after for months, “What’s your name and what are we working on.” When it came time for grading at the end of the year, my report simply said, “I have no recollection of having ever seen a student with that name.”
Someone (who thinks of himself as a real expert in human nature) was once really surprised when he saw me eating meat. He had thought I was an animal rights extremist who would even drive to Poland in the middle of the night in order to save dogs from bad animal shelters.
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On Monday I went to the movies with a friend. We wanted to watch Ice Age 3 in 3D. When the film started we realized that it wasn’t in 3D. It wasn’t even Ice Age. We ended up in the wrong cinema and saw “The Hangover”.
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I only became German vice champion in ballet although I had the best technique, because I didn’t wear any shoes.
…and that teacher’s name was Herr Professor Alzheimer!
Darling, dear friend, I have returned.
Oh and please note that I shall definitely be sending mail some time in the near future. I would ask that you provide me with some sort of address, though, since I am not sure if you have moved or anything..