Jackie used to always say that her mom would kill her if she got sunburnt and I thought it was cute until no, I found out it was funny because her mom was dead.
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The difference with a mid-life crisis is that you have money. I have crises of similar proportions and all it means is that sometimes I buy a burrito.
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Walt Whitman (1819-1892) once famously said, “DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?!”

and abe lincoln said “that is cool.”
cooper union speech, i believe? you would know. you do have the lincoln pocket sized book of words to guide you through life.
eat a burrito