My girlfriend made fun of me when I told her that I like the Spanish guy at the market who sells me his spicy Spanish sausage. My brother will too.
My brother and I are going to have a lemonade stand this summer where we’ll have the options of “modern lemonade,” “old style lemonade,” or “cave man lemonade.” modern lemonade is kool-aid. old style is fresh squeezed with ice cold water and simple syrup. cave man style, which when people ask, we decided we would just tell them what it is, and still offer it to them, will be the same price, and cave man style is just us throwing lemons at you.
“when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” what the fuck kind of proverb is this? i’m sure this really speaks to the trust fund kids. this assumes a knife to cut the lemons, a glass to squeeze them into, water, sugar, and ice. fuck you.
author’s note: i need a vacation. i’m sensing some pent up aggression in my triple shots.